How your search for love might be a heroic journey

Think about the ways you’ve experienced the different steps of the hero’s journey in your own search for love. The Call to Adventure:  In what way is love the unknown?” Do you really know what you’re in for?  In what ways have you experienced love as “a place of strangely fluid and polymorphous beings, unimaginable Continue Reading...

The Hero’s Journey and the Search for Love

What Joseph Campbell called the hero’s journey contains a lot of insights about the search for love. Love was, after all, what the hero found. In this article, I’m going to surface some of those insights by showing how each of his 17 archetypal steps manifests in searches for a committed monogamous relationship. Campbell divided Continue Reading...

Unpacking my defenses

I get defensive with girlfriends and it’s hard to be kind when you’re being defensive and not acknowledging it. I’m many things with women, some really terrific.  However, I want to focus this post on the dynamics of being defensive and not try to make myself feel better by always affirming that I know I Continue Reading...

What “I Love You” means

What do I mean when I say “I love you?” What that means when I say it depends on when in the relationship I say it.  If it’s early it can’t mean as much as later. Does it need a disclaimer or can I assume you understand that its meaning is based on what’s realistic Continue Reading...

What is a “committed” relationship?

In relationships there are two kinds of commitments: behavioral and temporal. Temporal commitments have to do with time. We’ll be together forever. Let’s spend x hours of y days each week together. Behavioral commitments have to do with how we’ll be with each other and interest me a lot more.  If you can’t commit to Continue Reading...

What is a Relationship?

I have a relationship with everyone I meet from the instant I meet them. The intent differs. Here are some lenses that I sometimes use to look at loving relationships A relationship is a ritual that honors and acknowledges the sacredness of connection.  Our routines are the daily rituals.  There are words we regularly say Continue Reading...