What “I Love You” means

What do I mean when I say “I love you?”

What that means when I say it depends on when in the relationship I say it.  If it’s early it can’t mean as much as later.

Does it need a disclaimer or can I assume you understand that its meaning is based on what’s realistic after we’ve known each other for this long.

It at least means I love you in the moment because

  • You open me to the joys of love
  • You stir/activate my impulse to love.
  • I want to have more physical, virtual and imaginative contact with you in the near term
  • My feelings tell me this relationship will be satisfying for a while longer.

It can, but doesn’t necessarily, also mean

  • I think about you when we’re not together
  • I’m looking farther into the future
  • I’d like to spend more time with you
  • I’m there for you with very little notice
  • You can ask something of me.

And, of course, you can always ask me what I mean.

{ 2 comments… add one }

  • marina May 9, 2013 at 12:51 am

    Love is not a feeling. Love is about having thoughts and taking actions that support greater connectivity and kindness.

    Reply edit
  • bobroan May 9, 2013 at 1:12 pm


    Thanks for the feedback. I don’t share your certainty about what love is and what love is not. For me, I hope to use relationship to explore love and don’t expect to ever completely understand it.


    Reply edit

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